For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to be extra special, to stand out in a crowd, to be noticed. I wanted to be written about in history books and remembered for something colossal like discovering a country or inventing some do-dad so important everyone would know my name. I wanted to leave a massive legacy.
I often wondered where this desire came from. Was it because I did not feel I was already important or special or unique? I’d sit for hours thinking up things I could invent only to find everything had already been invented. Not really, but in my young mind I thought so. At that time personal computers, beepers, cell phones, smart phones, tablets or even flat screen TV’s, weren’t even on the horizon. Heck, color TV’s were barely on the market. Besides, only a certain segment of society could afford a television showing color. And certainly no one in my immediate neighborhood could.
I did not know the main reasons for invention; 1) finding a solution to a problem or need, 2) to improve upon something, 3) to remove the gap between pains & healing. My invention would have to satisfy a need of some sort.
Well, the idea of me being history books and remembered for something colossal waned but not the idea of leaving a legacy. What developed was a desire to improve on me. I tried emulating people I admired to create a new and better me (that was funny!). At times I even shushed my voice of my ideas and words because I did not feel them to be worthy to be shared.
Coming to the realization that I am already unique, creative and beautiful with my own powerful voice did not happen overnight. It was all part of a growth process, a beautiful adventure that began when I started looking within. I began to pay attention to me, to make decisions that would further self discovery, I would listen to my thoughts and honor them and my opinions. My relationship with God deepened. Prayer and meditation became a daily part of my life. I would speak up for myself and speak truth as I saw and experienced it. Soon I began to esteem myself.
The façade dissipated along with the patches of other people’s personalities and nuances. It was no longer of utmost importance to be silent just to keep people in my circle. It’s my circle.
It’s my life. I will speak my piece for my peace.
Do I still want to leave a legacy? Yes, of course! I will leave the greatest thing I could ever leave this world. My legacy would be allowing the world to know just who I am, the authentic me. The unique, one-of-a-kind, empowered, loving, giving, caring, compassionate, strong woman of God that I have grown into. Yes! I am all that and more.
Those are the same traits I work to instill in others to help them live their best life. There’s nothing more precious than knowing I helped even one person. I don’t care about being in the history books or inventing some great thing. I am satisfied knowing I lived the best life I could possibly live; that I have fulfilled my life purpose and in the process influenced another to do the same and that’s good enough.
“I heard a voice that told me I’m essential
How all my fears are limiting my potential
Said it’s time to step into the light and
Use every bit of the power I have inside”
India Irie, Just Do You
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